I came across this while surfing some forums, the topic was on nice guys. I'm sure that you are aware of some girls saying all the nice guys are dead or gone and stuffs like that, but this article fights back. Read it and see how true it is.

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I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull**** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy



To all the nice guys out there... Stay true to urself even if it means u cant get the gal. This is wad i call MAN!
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Haha, to nice guys out there, continue being nice and one day you will find a nice girl. To nice girls too, although it seems really hard to find one nice guy but i'm sure there are still a few alive, i personally have a few of them as friends, so i'm sure nice guys are not dead yet (and yes i know that does not include me coz i am nt a nice guy but does not matter i dun plan to get married either).

My friend finally forgive me...or actually he is not angry with me at the beggining.

He did not reply to my SMS because he was away to thailand and taiwan for NS training. Today we went for lunch together and it seems like he did not remember that incident? The way he described taiwan, it seems like a so fun place. I hope i get to go there during NS too (provided i siam Navy). What is surprising is that, the sirs actually gave each of them 1 packet of condom to use haha...but my friend say he nv use...he too innocent....haha...

I'm surprised to find out too that one of the auntie working with me likes to watch One Piece. I'm currently chasing one piece too, while waiting for naruto new chapters to come out. Although alot of people seems to dun like one piece because of it's graphics, i personally like the anime because of the story. I seldom watch anime because of the graphics...because i enjoy storylines more.

I'm also chasing a new hong kong TVB drama called D.I.E aka Death Investigation Extension (chinese: Gu Ling Jing Tan). This is a detective show starring roger kwok (the one who acted as ah wang) and he is a detective who have some special powers to detect some dying messages from the deceased, which help him solved alot of cases. The show itself is funny, and if you are a detective show fan, then this show is a mus watch. Expecially this show was crowned the highest rating show in hong kong now (beating alot of high record shows in the past) and ending was somewhat similar to the Huang Zi Hua detective show. The original ending shows the main character die, but due to popular demand, an alternate ending was voted online and they showed another ending where the main character survived (remember Huang Zi Hua in Dong Du Shen Tan was suppose to die but the audiences complained abt the sad ending and they decided to film another ending where he lived). I strongly recommend this show...mus watch!

Alot of things happen the past 2 weeks, hard to summarise everything...just mention some of them...one of my uncle passed away so i went to his funeral in batam. He was a respected uncle, a very good man, although the last time i saw him was during my primary school days i think...died a sudden death, no illness or anything, sometimes i was like thinking a man who did so many good deeds in life, has a good family and everything, then the thing that heaven reward him is by taking him away just like that, no illness, no accident, nothing at all. Just a sudden death for no reason, so funny rite. A lot of people went to the funeral, my whole family went (although we had work in singapore but we all took leave and went batam, my sis also take leave from sch). He have very good 'ren yuan' too, so alot of people went to see him the last time. I got burn 'kim chua' for him and pray that he is now in a better place (A good person should not go to a suffering place right i tink...) My aunt mentioned that before he died he got mention my mum, say wan come sg to see her coz he long time nv come liao, but haven come then like that...really dunno wat to say.

Back to sg, continued my every life, always late for work (although i late onli a few mins) and then go out wif other people also late. Until one time i really late for 1 hr, my frend angry wif mi and leave the place. I sms him to apologize but he never reply, so i tink he refuse to forgive me bah...So now i promise myself, I WILL NEVER BE LATE AGAIN.

And i did it. These few days i reach early for work, never late again haha...i jus hope that my dat fren will forgive me soon bah...

Some other little things, not really good or bad, but made me changed my thinking and everything. So it looks like my bad luck streak is still somewhere near me but then i keep telling myself everyday u believe you are lucky, you will be lucky. (Things like being late and all those, if i had disciplined myself more, then this won't happen right?) So sometimes to fend off bad luck the 1st thing is to make sure you are on the right track in everything you do, be more careful and responsible, then at least you can stay a bit further from bad luck bah.

Nothing really good happened too, so i guess it's just a normal life again...

Maybe i should start doing something to change my life, like an interest, i remember i used to write stories (anyone remember xiao ling long?) That story was a failure, but i would like to try again. I'm very inspired my naruto ( I finally finish all the anime and comic of it, and it's getting very exciting. ) Recently channel 8 also replaying Li Nan Xing's The Vagrant (Bao Zi Dan). That show also inspire mi alot teaching me no matter how many failures you go thru you must stand up again, i hope to write something like that.

So when i'm free, and this time to keep up to wat i promised myself, to be more discipline, I will write a short story first to start with...

very soon...i think...